In the year 2005, DC Comics was just at the beginning of an event-crazy cycle that would eventually lead to the reboot of their entire universe six years later. It was a wild time to follow comics, but it wasn’t all positive. “Event Fatigue” set in pretty fast, and it was hard to keep up with all the series and mini-series needed to fully grasp the Infinite Crisis. A lot of it was worth the trouble, but there were certain elements that…well…should have seen a re-write or two.

The Rann-Thanagar War: Infinite Crisis Special may actually have needed infinite re-writes. Designed as a conclusion to the six-issue Rann-Thanagar War miniseries, the Special covers cosmic events leading right up to the Crisis, and heavily features the prominent Green Lanterns of the day: Kyle Rayner, Alan Scott, and Kilowog. It also notoriously kills off Jade, the green-skinned superhero daughter of Alan Scott. That alone would have drawn my ire, but the whole issue was so poorly conceived, plotted, and written that the entire exercise became inexcusable.

Figuring I couldn’t possibly write a worse comic, I promptly set about replacing all the dialogue and ended up with a parody I called: Rann-Thanagar War: Conflict of No Consequence. This was originally posted on the Halls of Hysteria seven years ago, but I figured it was worth digging back up again.